Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Minor Setback

I’m having a panic attack because my first meal is almost 500 calories: strawberry-banana smoothie (1 small banana, 1 cup frozen strawberries, 2 cups water, 1 scoop vegan protein powder) and a large handful of pistachios.  I am forcing myself to eat every bite, drink every ounce even though my body is rebelling.  Hand shaking, vision blurring, breath fast, stomach cramped.  No. No.  NO.

This is ridiculous!  I just finished a very intense weight workout.  My body needs this.  It needs the protein and carbs and fat.  It needs food.  It needs to not be deprived. 

Breathe. 


Breathe.


Breathe.


I want so badly to have a normal relationship with food.  I need to stop swinging between stuffing my face and restricting to the point of starvation.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to fix this.

2 comments:

  1. Take a step back & let yourself adjust. You can do this! Ignore the crazy voices, no matter how uncomfortable you are in a situation you can get through it. It will pass. I know it feels like hell but you need food. You're eating the right things, please don't give up.
    When I feel like you I try to ease myself into it... if I've been fasting I'll break it with juice, then salad or fruit, then small portions of cooked veggies and then back to normal food so my tummy has time to get used to it... perhaps you had too much at once?
    I know for me the key is eating good healthy food regularly, granted I'm still working on it but that seems to be the way to go for me, 3 meals + snacks if needed and all food I enjoy... plus herbal tea because I love it.
    I hope you feel better soon xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the kind words and sound advice!

      I have to keep reminding myself that getting healthy is a journey. It's made up of one small step after another, not a race to the finish.

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Thank you for the comment! Your input is always appreciated :)