Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I Dedicate This Post To Ruby

I did something terribly, horrifyingly, wonderful today.  With sweaty palms and shaky legs, I held my phone to my ear and spoke the words out loud, "I believe I have an eating disorder, and I need help."  The voice, canned and tinny, barely missed a beat.  It spouted out resources and reassurances.  It said they would follow up in a few weeks to see how treatment was going.

Two calls later and I am waiting for a counselor to contact me to set up an appointment.  My stomach has been one continuous somersault.  I am not entirely sure I am ready for this, yet I am incredibly excited to begin.

I have Ruby to thank.  If you don't currently follow her blog, you really should start.  She has been a huge inspiration to me.  Watching her change her circumstances and life, and seeing how healthy and happy she is because of those changes, has shifted the way I think about Addiction and Eating Disorders (they deserve capital letters, really, they do).  Unlike other recovery blogs I follow, Ruby is not afraid to talk about her pitfalls and relapses.  (Seriously, some blogs make recovery look unachievably easy.)  Instead, she uses each stumble as a learning opportunity.  Without fail, she picks herself back up and continues on.

So, Ruby, if you're reading this, thank you.  I don't comment often on your blog (or on anyone's for that matter), but I read every one of your posts.  Hmmm, just now realized how much of a stalker that makes me.  Ah well, all the same, keep up the amazing work.  You're changing lives, you beautiful woman, you!


  1. I have been reading in silence and sadness since you first started purging. I feel inadequate when it comes to people with the more physically severe symptoms, so I don't often comment... but I'm glad you took that enormous step, and I hope you find the right resources to help you work toward finding balance and health.

  2. I wonder if you would find some encouragement from Lina's blog? She has been bulimic for years and is on that long slow road to wellness. She doesn't post much anymore, but she JUST posted that she's been 6 months purge free.

    Her current blog:

    Her old entries:

    There is hope. There is always hope.

    1. Thank you for the suggestion! I went back and read Lina's blogspot posts and am working my way through wordpress. You're right, I really connect with a lot of her writing.

  3. Wow, that is a huge step. I'm proud of you for reaching out. Ruby is indeed an inspiration :) All the best for your journey into recovery <3

  4. Aw I am so blown away by this post
    Thank you my lovely
    From the bottom of my heart
    And I am so glad /proud that you reached out and asked for help
    That is the first and most difficult step
    Once people know
    They can help and support you
    And you need that right now

    It warms my heart to know that my blog helped you
    I know what you mean about some blogs making it look easy
    And they never seem to have a bad day
    Recovery is a roller coaster
    At least mine is

    Take care my dear
    As my sponsor used to say to me
    Don't quit five minutes before the miracle x

    1. Thank you, Ruby, for your continuing inspiration!


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