Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Does The Good Outweight The Bad?

I just got off the phone with my "coach", i.e. over-the-phone goal coaching offered through my work.  He was the one I finally told about my ED.  He was the one that offered the resources I used to schedule an appointment with a counselor.  Turns out, my honesty has lead to me being "excused" from the coaching program.  Read: Kicked out of the program because I am too damaged.

Don't get me wrong, I really couldn't give two fucks about the coaching program itself.  Not once in the six years I participated did it help me reach a goal.  That was done on my own, with determination and hard work.  I sign up for the program for one reason, and only one reason: it is a requirement of qualifying for a large discount on my health insurance.  When I asked about this, my "coach" informed me that I would have to contact my Human Resources department to find out if the requirement can be waived.  Sorry, nothing else he can do to help.

Now I have the choice of paying an extra $600 a year for health insurance, or fessing up to my employer that I have an ED.  Fuck.  Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck.

This whole reaching-out-for-help thing better pan out, because it is already wreaking havoc on my life.  On that note, my first counseling appointment is tomorrow morning and I have ZERO idea what to expect.  Any advice or hints would be much appreciated.

On a complete different note, have you guys see this amazing video (only 1:30 minutes, not a huge time commitment)?  As someone who touts exercise as a cure for pretty much any ailment, I'm incredibly excited.  The U.S. would do well to follow suit with a similar campaign.


  1. Best of luck tomorrow hun
    Just be honest
    Be open
    And be willing to do whatever it takes to get well
    I know it seems like the shit has hit the fan now that some people know
    But hang in there
    Sometimes things get worse before they get better
    Do let us know how you get on tomorrow
    Thinking of you
    And sending you love, faith and courage x

    1. I took your advice and was completely honest, though I felt like I was biting my tongue a lot. My counselor kept making these assumptions about me that just didn't ring true. Ah well, going to stick with it for now.

  2. "I jiggle, therefore I am." :)

    Maybe you should talk to HR. Horrible, yes, but $600 is quit a lot.

    1. Haha, right! My new motto at the gym.

      I haven't figured out what to do about HR. I have until the end of April to decide...

  3. I hate that they've flipped your honesty back on you. As for tomorrow, like Ruby said, try to be honest and open. It can take a while to build up your comfort levels, but even if you can talk to them about the weather or seemingly mundane things, it's all progress. Maybe you could tell them about the situation with this goal coaching and insurance costs - they might have some ideas.

    Take care <3

    1. I was completely taken by surprise how emotional I would get during the session. Granted, I opened up about a number of things I've never spoken to anyone about, but even talking about the weather I felt like I was holding back tears.


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